I believe that the first 8 weeks with baby are the hardest, funniest, most incredible weeks of your life. I also believe it defines who you will be as parents.
I must admit that I didn't have that instant bond with Mia. It wasn't a instant "Oh my that's my baby!" moment... it took me about 3 weeks before i had that holy shit realization. It's hard because they don't tell you about how for some Mothers it doesn't just happen right away so I felt like an awful person and Mother. Like I wasn't ever going to bond and connect with this little person that i carried and grew for 9 months. I was mad that i had to keep getting up when i was exhausted, mad that she wasn't latching right, mad that i wasn't enjoying my new role as Mom.
Now let me clarify that I was not mad at her. I was mad that I had gone through all I had and didn't instantly feel like a Mom.
To make matters worse breastfeeding did not work for us. We had to give her formula because she couldn't latch right, was destroying my nipples and getting us both frustrated and her hungry. We rented a pump so that she was still getting breast milk but we were exclusively bottle feeding.
So Brent stayed with us for 3 whole weeks (His mom came the first weekend home to help take some pressure off too!). Mia had peed all over both of us by week 2 but she actually pooped all down his leg. I didn't get that royal treatment until week 5 when she pooped at me like a shotgun when i was wiping her during a diaper change.
He had to go back to work on the 21st and I was nervous about being left completely alone with her; I still hadn't had that "A-HA" moment and we were going to be all alone. No breaks, no time by myself, no chance to rest and just worry about recovering. Monday was tough. We got through it just fine and by the time Brent got home i felt accomplished; Both Mia and i survived and she was relatively happy and content.
Tuesday was better, I was actually beginning to enjoy taking care of her myself.
Wednesday was the day. It was morning before Brent left for work and she was screaming for a bottle; being completely impatient and making me crazy. Brent went to make a bottle and wasn't moving fast enough for her so i just stuck her face to the boob and
Holy shit, she latched. She not only latched but she was content and eating.
Brent left and she finished her breakfast, burped and started dozing in my arms as i walked back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. It was about the 3rd lap when i looked down at her to see her gazing back up at me sleepily... and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was completely 100% head over heels in love with this tiny 3 week old baby girl. She was my daughter, my baby. The love of my life.
Since then things have been smoother. We get to go to Moms group on Tuesdays and Fridays to visit with the other moms and babies; which she loves. We have been able to visit Brent for lunch a couple of times and have been combo breast/bottle feeding like champs.
She will be 2 months old on Friday and it amazes me how shes grown. 4 pounds and about an inch it seems. She's a happy, smiling, chatty little drama queen who fits the Gemini profile. Loves to be out and about and gets bored very easily. Bath time is like a relaxing trip to the spa or water park. She sleeps in her bassinet for part of the night and in the crook of my arm in bed the other part of the night, I don't blame her... our bed is much more comfortable.
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